What happens when you can’t say no?
When you’re unable to say no to others you may find yourself in a frustrating place where you people please and often put your own needs last. This behaviour is called ‘People Pleasing’ and people pleasing can make a person feel ill, depressed, anxious or stressed. Many of my clients present with this issue, and sessions are often focused on learning to be more assertive, and saying things in a way that aren’t aggressive, but make other people realise that you are firm and you have boundaries in place. One of the things that I often hear is that a person who people pleases is scared to upset others around them.
Being assertive isn’t about upsetting others, it is about saying things in a way that others understand that a boundary is in force, and having the skills to say things in a nice, polite way. You can learn these skills and practise ways of being more assertive with support.